Establish norms can be helpful and is something that we can do when engaging in conversations with one another, whether we have known the person for a minute or entire lifetime. The following areas are from Sanctified Art, I have combined some of them, and adapted the explanations.
Speak from the ‘I’—Commit to sharing what you know to be true from your lived experience. Do not make personal attacks, speak for other people, or state generalities or stereotypes. Speak only from your personal experience. Keep in mind that vulnerability begets vulnerability. If you share, it might give someone else the courage to share too.
Listen from the heart ~ be sure to just simply hear and listen, don’t constantly be thinking about your response, but simply listen and hear what is being said, being present in the moment.
Step up & step back ~ be willing to share, but also know that it is ok to pass if you do not feel comfortable sharing at the time. And respect the space should the person not feel comfortable sharing at the time.
Hold space ~ Oftentimes, we want to fix things, and we become uncomfortable with silence or the unknown, know that silence is ok. Share the space in a way that offers a moment of gratitude, maybe ‘thank you for sharing that with me’ and allowing that to be our response.
Stay curious ~ “Curiosity is a spiritual practice. If you don’t fully understand someone’s experience, get curious to learn more. You might ask: “Can you tell me more about how that made you feel?” Or, more plainly, lean on the questions in our series: “Where are you hurting right now?” “What do you need?””sanctifiedart.org / @sanctifiedart
I’ve been meaning to ask … where are you from?
sanctifiedart.org / @sanctifiedart
We believe everyone is beloved, shaped from the dust
of the earth and the breath of God. Everyone has a story
to tell. Our stories are messy and beautiful, painful and
hopeful—being written and rewritten over time. We commit
to disrupting our assumptions and staying curious.
Some questions to help us remain engaged and curious
- Where were you born? How has that geographic location influenced you today?
- How many places have you lived or visited? what places have you loved? What feels most like home?
- What makes a place feel like home to you?
- Is there a story behind your given name or your surname? If you have a nickname or a chosen name, how is this name meaningful to you?
- What is a favorite family tradition?
- Share a memory related to food – a family recipe, a baking ritual, or a time of breaking bread with loved ones?
- What is something you love or celebrate about yourself?
questions are taken from sanctifiedart.org / @sanctifiedart